So, I just got back from a two-week research road trip and have been finalizing our Great Smokey Mountains NP trip at the end of the month, which means I've been reading budget and mid-priced hotel reviews for several months on Trip Advisor.
And what I want to know is who is this hairy guy who is running around multiple states shedding all over the beds and showers? It is a given that at least one reviewer will exclaim "Gross!" in the subject line, and then proceed to detail her (always a woman) horror story of pulling back the sheets to find them covered (covered!!) in curly black hairs. After housekeeping or the manager or desk clerk comes running with clean sheets just removed from the dryer -- on occasion, the guest is invited to the laundry to watch as the sheets are, in fact, removed from the dryer -- our guest is finally able to slip between the sheets and nod off to slumber land.
Only to be doubly disgusted the next morning when, on pulling back the shower curtain, she discovers the walls and floor of the shower to be covered (covered!!) with curly black hairs. In most cases, she pulls herself together and manages to clean the stall or tub and then herself.
As traumatizing as the event is, she always manages to force herself to at least sample the complementary breakfast, as evidenced by her detailed criticism of each and every offering.
All of which leaves me with multiple questions. The sheets I can understand -- sort of -- but if he's shed all of the sheets, how does he have any hair left to shed in the shower? And how does he manage to get it all over the walls, as well as the floor? Maybe I don't want to know that.
And why does he visit each hotel only once? It's only ever one guest out of 80 or 90 or 100 who is cursed to be given a room right after this man has stayed in it. And why have we been so favored of fortune as to never, ever have found ourselves in that situation?
He really should be easy to find. Just follow the trail of curly black hairs that he must be leaving behind him. Why do I never read of a restaurant patron pulling out a chair and finding it covered with curly black hairs? Or beginning to slide into a booth, only to be repulsed by its furry covering?
To say nothing of what the walls and floors of the mens' rooms he uses must look like. Forget the search for Sasquatch. The Hunt for the Hotel Shedder should be our next great adventure.
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